Sucking the life out of me

I hate to be negative again but yesterday was just a horrible, terrible, stressful day. It was Olivia's first full day at daycare. I was in the other class and I could hear her crying on and off (mostly on) for nine hours, it seemed like the day would never end. I knew she wasn't hurt, she was just upset and it was very hard to listen to. That's not the worst part though, I can deal with the crying and whining. Olivia is a very stubborn and strong willed kid so I'm used to that. What worries me is that she refuses to eat and drink while she is there. She was so hungry when we got home that she ate and drank everything in sight. An hour later, she threw all of it up everywhere and she kept throwing up. It was all over me, her and the floor. So after a truly exhausting day, I had to give her a bath (Which I wasn't planning on doing) and start another load of laundry (Which I REALLY wasn't planning on doing). After I gave her a bath and got her to bed, I had to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, I realized that my towels were in the wash. At that point, I just gave up. I went to bed and it was only 8pm. Luckily Paul was home and he helped a lot. He cleaned up Liv's mess in the kitchen and finished the laundry for me. I called the doctor today wondering if maybe Olivia still had the stomach bug and she said that if she's okay the rest of the weekend then it was probably due to eating too much, too fast. My concern is that she's going to continue to refuse to eat and drink at daycare, come home and eat like crazy then throw up. I'm scared this will become a pattern and I don't think I have the energy to handle it. The doctor told me to be in touch if she doesn't start becoming accustomed to daycare soon. I still don't know if this is going to work out but I'm holding onto a little bit of hope that it will. Today wasn't much better, she barely ate anything again. She was just grazing all day, a bite here and there but no actual meals. She was super cranky in the morning and after her nap. She was in a better mood later on but then started melting down again around dinner time. She has been sucking the life out of me this past week, I'm completely drained and her bad moods have been rubbing off on me. Everyone keeps saying she just needs to get used to it but right now that is very hard to imagine.

Puke and other disturbing things

Yesterday I had to work but my mom was home to watch Livy so she didn't go to daycare, which I'm sure she was happy about. A lot of the kids were sick with a stomach bug so I was hoping that we wouldn't catch it. Olivia seemed to be in good spirits when I got home. I gave her a bath, fed her dinner and put her to bed. At around 9:30pm I heard her fussing in her crib so I yelled upstairs to Paul so he could check on her. I heard him yelling to me about something, I ran upstairs and Olivia had puked everywhere. There was so much, it was all over her sheets, stuffed animals and even in her hair. I got her out of bed and gave her another bath while Paul cleaned up the mess in her crib. I felt really bad for her so I let her come downstairs with me and watch TV while I threw her stuff in the wash. After a little while she seemed to be okay so I put her back to bed, she fell asleep pretty quickly. I was exhausted at that point so as soon as her stuff was done drying, I went to bed. At around 2am, I heard her crying again so I went in to check on her and she was gagging. I picked her up and tried to calm her down but she was really upset. I don't want to gross everyone out so I'll just say, it was coming out of both ends and it was bad. Stomach bugs are the worst, she was just miserable and there was a lot of cleaning up involved. This morning I gave her some toast and water, I am going to hold off on giving her milk until tomorrow. She didn't want to eat much at lunchtime either, she only had a few spoons of soup and half a banana. She's napping right now, I'm hoping that this bug isn't going to last more than 24 hours. I'm also stressed out because I had to miss work today, I really could use the money but Olivia comes first and it will always be that way. It seems like I can't catch a break lately. I got a call from the hospital saying that we owe $3,000 for her overnight stay in January (when she had RSV). I called twice a few months ago to make sure that if the claim was denied, we wouldn't be responsible for the payment and they assured me that we wouldn't be. The claim was resubmitted and approved so now we are responsible for the deductible. The lady I spoke to on the phone today was so rude, she kept saying things like "You didn't think you would have to pay for services rendered?!". At one point I got mad and I told her she needed to stop talking down to me because I didn't appreciate it. Whoever I spoke to before obviously didn't explain things correctly. Anyway, that put me in a bad mood. We already have seven or eight other medical bills for Liv that we are struggling with, it just seems to keep piling on. I told them to add it to my long tab and I'll pay what I can every month, that's the best I can do. It's funny that they only help you out if you make less than $50K per year but they don't take into account all the debt you have from a medically complex child. I broke down and started crying at one point, something I rarely do. Olivia saw me, she got upset and started crying too. I gave her a hug and that calmed us both down, she is such a sweetheart when she wants to be. The cherry on top was this morning when I dropped my phone on the ground and the screen cracked, seriously though, why?! I spent $50 on a stupid OtterBox and obviously it didn't help at all, that really annoys me. I understand it's my fault, I'm clumsy and I drop my phone all the time but that's exactly why I invested in a case that would help prevent my screen from breaking. That was a fail, I'm going to try Gorilla glass this time but I'm not expecting much. I have to pay $170 for a replacement phone, I have insurance but that's the deductible. I know this was just a long post of me ranting but the stress has been building up for a while now. Now I am just keeping my fingers crossed that I don't catch the stomach bug and that Olivia feels better soon.



The bad luck continues

Olivia has been sick since Tuesday, she caught a stomach bug and it's been rough. I feel really bad for her but it's also been exhausting for me and Paul because she's been so cranky and sad. Today she seemed better, she wasn't as cranky as she was yesterday. Oh and of course, on Friday I dropped my phone and the screen cracked shattered, pieces of glass keep falling off little by little. I knew there was no way I could afford a new one (even with insurance it's too expensive for me right now) and I was bummed about that. This is pretty sad but I actually have scotch tape all over it right now to stop the glass from falling off. I know it's just a phone but I don't have a house phone so my cell is really the only way I can contact people. My parents are being super awesome and getting me a new one, this time I'm going to invest in a sturdy case. I wish I wasn't so clumsy, I drop my phone almost every single day but I guess I've been lucky because my screen has never cracked until now. Things have been really stressful at work, I'm not going into detail about that but it has been a really draining weekend. My entire body is just sore, I never thought my feet could hurt so much and my legs feel like jello. I'm so happy to be home now, it's time to watch my guiltiest pleasure (Keeping up with the Kardashians) and eat some cookies! I'm so excited to be off the next two days and spend quality time with my little girl, I missed her like crazy this weekend!

For the first time ever, she let me put her hair in a ponytail (kind of).

Even when she is extra cranky, she always finds a way to make me laugh or smile.

Left: Pretending to talk on daddy's phone. "Hold on, I'm going to have to call you back!"

Right: I didn't notice there was a rip in her pajamas until I saw her little piggy poking out.