Thursday, April 30, 2015

Good news.. kinda

I'm happy to report that Olivia hasn't thrown up since Friday. The bad news is that she still cries all day at daycare and barely eats or drinks anything. I'm wondering how long she is going to be stubborn for because it's been really stressful, on both of us. Luckily today was my day off so I took her to the park and then we went for a walk. She really loves being outside (except when she's at school) and she would stay out at all day if she could. There were a lot of kids at the park today (including some annoying teenagers). When I was pushing Liv on the swing, another little girl was laughing so Olivia started fake laughing. It was really funny, she just wanted to copy the girl. She's silly, she makes me so happy no matter how bad my day is going. I know I've been neglecting this blog a bit but I've been super busy. My job is absolutely exhausting and when I'm home, I like to spend as much time as possible with Liv. I have a lot I want to post though so hopefully I will have some time this weekend.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Sucking the life out of me

I hate to be negative again but yesterday was just a horrible, terrible, stressful day. It was Olivia's first full day at daycare. I was in the other class and I could hear her crying on and off (mostly on) for nine hours, it seemed like the day would never end. I knew she wasn't hurt, she was just upset and it was very hard to listen to. That's not the worst part though, I can deal with the crying and whining. Olivia is a very stubborn and strong willed kid so I'm used to that. What worries me is that she refuses to eat and drink while she is there. She was so hungry when we got home that she ate and drank everything in sight. An hour later, she threw all of it up everywhere and she kept throwing up. It was all over me, her and the floor. So after a truly exhausting day, I had to give her a bath (Which I wasn't planning on doing) and start another load of laundry (Which I REALLY wasn't planning on doing). After I gave her a bath and got her to bed, I had to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, I realized that my towels were in the wash. At that point, I just gave up. I went to bed and it was only 8pm. Luckily Paul was home and he helped a lot. He cleaned up Liv's mess in the kitchen and finished the laundry for me. I called the doctor today wondering if maybe Olivia still had the stomach bug and she said that if she's okay the rest of the weekend then it was probably due to eating too much, too fast. My concern is that she's going to continue to refuse to eat and drink at daycare, come home and eat like crazy then throw up. I'm scared this will become a pattern and I don't think I have the energy to handle it. The doctor told me to be in touch if she doesn't start becoming accustomed to daycare soon. I still don't know if this is going to work out but I'm holding onto a little bit of hope that it will. Today wasn't much better, she barely ate anything again. She was just grazing all day, a bite here and there but no actual meals. She was super cranky in the morning and after her nap. She was in a better mood later on but then started melting down again around dinner time. She has been sucking the life out of me this past week, I'm completely drained and her bad moods have been rubbing off on me. Everyone keeps saying she just needs to get used to it but right now that is very hard to imagine.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Puke and other disturbing things

Yesterday I had to work but my mom was home to watch Livy so she didn't go to daycare, which I'm sure she was happy about. A lot of the kids were sick with a stomach bug so I was hoping that we wouldn't catch it. Olivia seemed to be in good spirits when I got home. I gave her a bath, fed her dinner and put her to bed. At around 9:30pm I heard her fussing in her crib so I yelled upstairs to Paul so he could check on her. I heard him yelling to me about something, I ran upstairs and Olivia had puked everywhere. There was so much, it was all over her sheets, stuffed animals and even in her hair. I got her out of bed and gave her another bath while Paul cleaned up the mess in her crib. I felt really bad for her so I let her come downstairs with me and watch TV while I threw her stuff in the wash. After a little while she seemed to be okay so I put her back to bed, she fell asleep pretty quickly. I was exhausted at that point so as soon as her stuff was done drying, I went to bed. At around 2am, I heard her crying again so I went in to check on her and she was gagging. I picked her up and tried to calm her down but she was really upset. I don't want to gross everyone out so I'll just say, it was coming out of both ends and it was bad. Stomach bugs are the worst, she was just miserable and there was a lot of cleaning up involved. This morning I gave her some toast and water, I am going to hold off on giving her milk until tomorrow. She didn't want to eat much at lunchtime either, she only had a few spoons of soup and half a banana. She's napping right now, I'm hoping that this bug isn't going to last more than 24 hours. I'm also stressed out because I had to miss work today, I really could use the money but Olivia comes first and it will always be that way. It seems like I can't catch a break lately. I got a call from the hospital saying that we owe $3,000 for her overnight stay in January (when she had RSV). I called twice a few months ago to make sure that if the claim was denied, we wouldn't be responsible for the payment and they assured me that we wouldn't be. The claim was resubmitted and approved so now we are responsible for the deductible. The lady I spoke to on the phone today was so rude, she kept saying things like "You didn't think you would have to pay for services rendered?!". At one point I got mad and I told her she needed to stop talking down to me because I didn't appreciate it. Whoever I spoke to before obviously didn't explain things correctly. Anyway, that put me in a bad mood. We already have seven or eight other medical bills for Liv that we are struggling with, it just seems to keep piling on. I told them to add it to my long tab and I'll pay what I can every month, that's the best I can do. It's funny that they only help you out if you make less than $50K per year but they don't take into account all the debt you have from a medically complex child. I broke down and started crying at one point, something I rarely do. Olivia saw me, she got upset and started crying too. I gave her a hug and that calmed us both down, she is such a sweetheart when she wants to be. The cherry on top was this morning when I dropped my phone on the ground and the screen cracked, seriously though, why?! I spent $50 on a stupid OtterBox and obviously it didn't help at all, that really annoys me. I understand it's my fault, I'm clumsy and I drop my phone all the time but that's exactly why I invested in a case that would help prevent my screen from breaking. That was a fail, I'm going to try Gorilla glass this time but I'm not expecting much. I have to pay $170 for a replacement phone, I have insurance but that's the deductible. I know this was just a long post of me ranting but the stress has been building up for a while now. Now I am just keeping my fingers crossed that I don't catch the stomach bug and that Olivia feels better soon.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Daycare update

It was a long week for Liv, she doesn't like daycare one bit. I only left her for a few hours every day but she cried and whined the entire time I was gone. When I would pick her up, she would hug me so tight and cling to me. Yesterday, she woke up with a cold so I kept her home. I don't know if she got sick from stress or if she just caught germs from her class. Either way, she wasn't feeling great today either. I had to do a few things so my mom stayed with her and she just kept crying for me. She is usually fine with my mom so that is a bit concerning to me. I hope it's not because of daycare, she might just be fussy because she's sick otherwise this is going to be an issue. I'm really stressed out about it, so much that I'm having a hard time finding words. I just hope this week goes better, I will be working so she's going to be in class a lot longer and I'm not going to be able to calm her down. She can't cry all day.. right?! (Sigh).

This picture is deceiving.
The teacher took this before Liv knew I left.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Citrus Lane review - April 2015

Olivia got her box pretty early this month, I wonder if they were trying to make up for last months shipping delay. Citrus Lane is a monthly subscription box for babies/toddlers. You pay a certain price per month depending on how long you want to subscribe (it’s cheaper for the longer subscriptions). Every month you receive four to five items for your child and sometimes something for you as well. The boxes are age and gender appropriate (or you can pick neutral). This box is for a 26 month old girl.

Everything Olivia got in her April Citrus Lane box.
Green Toys flower set: I was so excited to get this for Olivia! It comes with a bunch of little flowers, leaves and stems that you can build and arrange to your hearts desire. I think it's a really fun/cute toy and she will love it, I kind of want to play with it myself. I love Green Toys, they make their toys out of recycled milk jugs and they don't contain any BPA, PVC, phthalates or coatings. This is only half the set so the price is just an estimate. Retails for: $14
Eco Kids finger paint mix: I saw spoilers (per usual) and I was hoping we would get this, it's finger paint mix. All you have to do is add water, we can use just what we need and save the rest, this will last us a while. I'm sure Olivia will love to get messy with it, she has never used finger paints before. We got two colors, blue and yellow. The mix is just white so it will be interesting to see it change into a pretty color. The ingredients are food-based (carrots, spinach, sweet potatoes, etc.) so that's pretty cool. It's also supposedly easy to clean up but I'm sure Olivia will test the limits on that.  Retails for: $8
Barefoot Books - If You're Happy and You Know It: We haven't gotten a book in our box since December so I was happy to see this. The cover is so bright and happy, I love it. The book is basically just the song, the last page has different kids from around the world saying hello in their own language. I'll read this to Liv but I'll have to keep it out of her reach since it's a paperback. She hasn't ripped any books in a while but she still might be a little rough with it. It also comes with a CD, I was teasing Paul and told him that we should bring it with us on our road trip to South Carolina. I said we could just play it on repeat for Liv, he gave me a dirty look so I guess that's a no. Seriously though, I'm going to bring this in my car and play it for her, I think she will like it (even though I might not). Retails for: $8
My Super Cookies whole grain cookie - Chocolate heroes: I used to hate getting snacks for Liv but now I like it. She eats much better now and the snacks they send us are usually quite tasty. These cookies don't exactly taste like chocolate to me but they are still pretty good. Liv had one and seemed to like it, I packed the rest in her lunch box for tomorrow. They are whole grain and made with some healthy ingredients (quinoa, chia, flax, super fruits, etc.) so that's always a plus! Retails for: <$1
This box was great, I am really happy with it! I'm glad we got it earlier than we usually do because I am so impatient. The total value of this box is about $31, not a great value if you're paying the full $29 per month. I used coupon codes and only paid about $15, so it's not a big deal to me. My subscription runs out next month and I still don't know if we will continue or not. We don't really need extra toys or books but I still think t's fun. I also love discovering new products but lately they have been sending a lot of items from the same companies. I have had Citrus Lane for over a year so that's probably why but I wish they would start introducing some new brands. Anyway, If you're interested in getting a Citrus Lane subscription for your child, you can use my referral link to get 50% off your first box - Melissa's CL referral. Please keep in mind that it's a subscription so make sure you cancel after your receive your boxes or you will be charged again.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The right thing

I think (or at least I hope) that every mother at some point in time has wondered if they were doing the right thing for their child. I've been having a hard time with a decision and I'm starting to wonder if it's the right one. I found a job at a daycare center and Olivia will be going too but she will be in a different class. This week I've been taking her for a few hours a day so she can be eased into this huge change. She has never been left with anyone besides family and usually not for more than a few hours. We left her overnight once with my mom but that was different, she was at home and comfortable in her surroundings. Yesterday I stayed with her in class and she whined from the time we got there, to the time we left. I don't really understand why she was so sad because I never left her side but she just wanted to cling to me. Today, she fell in the parking lot on the way in, she got scraped up pretty bad and that set the tone for the rest of the day. She was playing at first and I snuck out after about fifteen minutes. She was doing okay until they changed her diaper, then she started crying. She calmed down after a while but then I heard her screaming again, the teacher brought her to me and said that she just wouldn't calm down. I was hugging her and she was crying so much that she couldn't even catch her breath. That was so heart breaking for me to see. On the other hand, I really feel like this will be great for her in the long run. She will get to socialize with other kids and learn how to behave in a school setting. The problem is that she always has trouble starting a new routine, these next few weeks are going to be rough. My biggest concern is her lack of appetite. During snack time, she sat at the table with all the kids and she did so great! She really surprised me, she ate all of her food and didn't even cry when another little girl stole some. Unfortunately at lunch time, she didn't want to sit down. She had absolutely nothing to eat and wouldn't drink anything either. It really stresses me out because I'm worried about her regressing, it took me so long to get her to where she is. If she stops eating, I will feel like all the hard work was pointless and we will be back at square one. If she loses weight, her doctors are not going to be happy either. I honestly wish that I could be a stay at home mom but that's just not possible and there is nothing wrong with that. A lot of moms are in the same boat as me. I just want to fast forward to next month and not have to deal with this heart wrenching transition. I have a few irrational fears, like she is going to be mad at me for leaving her or that she is going to eventually like her teacher better than me. I love her so much and I am going to miss being with her 24/7. I know I sound like a psycho overprotective mom right now but it's so much harder than I thought it was going to be. So what is the "right thing"? There's really no answer for that, only time will tell. Parenting is all about trial and error, not every child is the same so you have to do what works for you and your family. I'm going to see how this goes but if she is really struggling, I have no problem rethinking my decision.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Nibblr review

Nibblr is a subscription box for snacks, you get four portion controlled trays and you can choose how often you get a box (weekly, biweekly or monthly). You pay $6.99 per box, you can also pay for four or twelve boxes at a discounted price. You don't get to choose which snacks you get but you can rate them and they will send you snacks that you will likely enjoy. 
Nibblr box. I love the packaging.
Olive You - Mini crisps with pumpkin seeds, dates and olives: I honestly thought I was going to hate these. They aren't terrible but they definitely weren't my favorite. I have more of a sweet tooth and these are quite savory. They have a strong olive taste and they are very crunchy. I don't think I would pick to have these sent to me again but I did eat a few.
Cocoa Nuts - Dark chocolate almonds and coconut flakes: I knew I was going to like these, you can't go wrong with chocolate and coconut. I've been on a coconut kick lately so I had to try this snack first and I was excited. It was very yummy and I ate the entire box, this is where the portion control comes in handy. The only issue I have with this one is that it's high in saturated fat so for that reason, I wouldn't pick this one again.
Stuck on Flax - Pretzel bites dipped in honey and coated in flax: These are a great combination of salty and sweet. I ate the whole box pretty quick. They were my favorite snack in the box and luckily they are low in saturated fat. I would totally buy these again.
Ginger Paradise - Ginger brittle, coconut slivers and graham cookies: I didn't really like this one. At first I did but then it started tasting weird to me. I think I would have liked it if the brittle was a different flavor, the ginger was too strong for me. The graham cookies were pretty good though.
It also came with this cute poster.
"Life's too short to be hangry."
This wasn't my favorite snack box, I've liked others a little better but it wasn't terrible either. I'm not going to continue with my subscription mostly because I'm trying to eat a bit healthier these days. I love trying new subscription boxes though, It's always fun!

Friday, April 10, 2015

Stuck in the foam pit

Yesterday it rained but we still went to playgroup. Olivia was not in the best mood, she has been hitting again and it's really frustrating. One little girl was trying to share her ball and Liv started pushing her away. I don't know why, maybe it was just her bad mood. Sometimes she loves playing with kids but yesterday wasn't one of those days. I took her aside and told her that she had to stop hitting and then I said to her "If you hit someone again, we're going to leave. Do you want to leave?" and she looked at me and said "Yeah!", happy as ever. I almost started to laugh but I didn't let her see that, she even ran over and got her coat and backpack. I thought she was going to get upset and start behaving but I guess she really didn't care if we stayed or not. Today was another rainy day so I took Olivia to this place down the street called Sky Zone. It's basically a bunch of trampolines and a foam pit. On Friday and Sunday mornings they have toddler time for kids five and under. I was glad because I would be nervous that she would get knocked over by older kids. Although, some of the four and five year olds were a bit rough. There was one boy following her around and every ball she picked up, he would take it from her. She would scream so loud at him and then he would run away but a few minutes later, he would be back. It was a little annoying because some of the moms weren't even paying attention to what their kids were doing. I don't follow Olivia around constantly but I always watch her from a safe distance. One boy was yelling "mommy" for a good five minutes before his mom finally looked over at him. Anyway, Liv liked the trampolines even though she can't exactly jump. She tries her best, she bends her knees and bounces but her feet never come off the floor. The staff was pretty nice, a few of them played with Liv. They would build up a tower of foam blocks and let her knock them down. The foam pit was pretty cool, I think that was her favorite part. She was crawling all around it, at one point she started sinking and I could barely see her. I had to jump in and get her because she was stuck. I had a hard time crawling through there, obviously I'm not in the best shape. When we got out, I realized that she lost a sock. They make you pay for Sky Zone socks ($2) but luckily they let us have a replacement for free. We saw a few kids from playgroup there but Olivia didn't really care and neither did they, they were all off in their own little worlds. All in all, it was a fun time and I will definitely bring Livy again soon. She had an awesome nap when we got home so that makes me love it even more. When Paul got home from work, we all went out for dinner. Liv ate before we left but she had fun coloring (on the coasters, oops). She stole some of Paul's broccoli, she doesn't take after me because I hate most vegetables. It's great that she likes them though! It was quite and eventful day, I am off the relax now.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Distracting a toddler

We've been going to the playground a lot lately and loving it. We saw the same little boy there that we saw at the library (library adventure), he didn't remember Olivia but he kept saying how cute she was. He's a funny kid, Liv saw a dog and started running towards it and he said "don't go over there, dogs eat babies!". Then he was chasing Liv around and she was having a blast. Yesterday we just hung out at home in the morning and after Olivia's nap, I decided it was time to get out of the house. I needed to pick up a few things so we went to Target (my favorite place). I could walk around that store for hours, I got what we needed and a few things we didn't need. I let Liv hold a little cat plush and she hugged it the whole time. I was going to buy it for her but when I scanned it, it was $10! I can't believe it was that much and it was just a small stuffed animal, I figured it would be closer to $5. She got a little upset when I took it away but I gave her a box of goldfish to hold onto and distract her (works every time). When we got home we played outside for a while, I brought out Liv's car and ride on toy and she had fun. Today was a very gloomy and rainy day so we didn't leave the house. Luckily I got to nap when Olivia did, it wasn't for long but it was much needed. It's supposed to rain the rest of the week so that's kind of a bummer. It's hard to keep Olivia entertained when we are stuck inside, she gets bored and I hate when she watches too much TV. Anyway, off to relax and catch up on a few shows.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Happy Easter!

I wanted to post this yesterday but I just didn't have the energy, Easter was a lot of fun! When Olivia woke up in the morning, she got her basket from the Easter bunny. She took everything out and wanted to open it all immediately. She ate an entire (almost) chocolate bunny but she wouldn't try the Peeps, I'm sure she would love them but she was being stubborn. I wanted her to take a nap before we went to my aunt's house but she refused (too much chocolate). She played in her crib for over an hour and I finally gave up and got her out (otherwise we would have been late). I was slightly irritated because I knew that if she didn't nap, she would be cranky and it was going to be a long day. She fell asleep in the car (about ten minutes before we got there) and she was annoyed when we woke her up. As soon as she saw her cousins though, her mood changed back to happy! She gave them hugs and kept following them around, it's really cute how much she loves them. She also loved getting all of her baskets from everyone but she liked my nephews toy cars the best. She ate more food than I thought she would and I ate more food than I should have. It was raining out so we had to do the egg hunt in the basement, kind of a bummer because the pictures would have been much nicer outside. Olivia wasn't into it this year, she found one egg and then she just wanted to sit down and open it. She liked playing with the jelly beans inside and she was content with just one egg. All of the kids were running around and one of them accidently knocked Liv over and she fell backwards and hit her head on the floor. She was crying so loud and hugging me for a while but afterwards she seemed fine. She went right back to playing but after a while, she started to get fussy again. I knew it would happen but it took a little longer than I thought so by that time we were getting ready to leave anyway. I'm glad she didn't fall asleep on the way home, it's a long drive so I expected her to but she stayed awake. Once we got home, I gave her a quick snack and put her to bed. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, that rarely happens. She went to bed earlier than normal so this morning she woke up bright and early. I think I am going to stick to this new bedtime though because she didn't even fight her nap today. She fell asleep within minutes and it was awesome. I took so many pictures but if I put them all up, this post would be way too long so I'll just share a few of my favorites.

Happy Easter everyone!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

End of the week fun

It got a little warmer out on Thursday afternoon so I brought Olivia outside and I pulled out some chalk from last year. I think I had more fun than she did, she kept handing me different colors to draw pictures for her. Then she went around and drew lines through all of my masterpieces. In true Olivia fashion, she wanted to hold all six pieces of chalk at once. By the time we were done, her pants were covered in chalk dust. Once Paul got home from work, we stayed outside for a while and then decided to go out for dinner. Liv got to sit next to me, they had a mini high chair that went right into the booth. She didn't eat much for lunch so she was hungry by the time we got to the restaurant. She kept doing the sign for eat and the food was taking a while so I let her have some goldfish. For dinner she got pizza and french fries (I know, super healthy), she was eating great until I got my food. Once she saw my salad, that's all she wanted and she didn't touch her food after that. As always, it was a little frustrating. I don't mind sharing with her but I also don't think that eating lettuce and tomatoes for dinner is very filling. I was too nervous about her choking to give her any of my steak. Anyway, despite her picky eating, it was a fun night.

Yesterday, Liv and I met up with my friend and her daughter (who is only three months younger than Liv) at a bounce house place. It was like Monkey Joe's but there wasn't an arcade area. There was a much bigger slide too and Olivia wanted to go on it about thirty times. I went with her a few times and that was a good workout. She went up by herself but I had to walk behind her and she was pretty slow. It was a little more work than it was worth. The last time she wanted to go, I just didn't have anymore energy so an older girl (around ten) said she would bring her up. I said okay but then I was so nervous, I kept saying "make sure she doesn't fall!", she did good though. Olivia loved running around and going in all the different bounce houses. She didn't want to leave, we will have to go back soon.

 Olivia kept hugging the dog, it was really cute.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Sunny with a side of snow

It was finally nice out yesterday! We played outside for a while and then I took Olivia to the park. It was pretty sunny out so I brought her sunglasses, she always puts them on upside down but I think it's adorable so I never fix them. There is still snow on the ground and of course she just wanted to play in that. After I coaxed her away from the snow, she ran around for a while and then I pushed her on the swings (she loved it). She went down the slide for the first time on her own, she was a little nervous and went down in a strange but hilarious way. She had one leg up and she went down backwards, I was laughing because it reminded me of the scene from Elf when he was trying to go up the escalator. The second time she did it the correct way, I was proud of her. After about an hour, it started to get cold because of the wind and I was ready to leave but Liv wasn't. I had to pick her up and she was yelling so loud but once we got in the car, she was fine. I'm excited for more warm weather! After the park, I had to pick up some groceries so we stopped at the store. Taking Olivia to the grocery store is always an adventure. She wanted to hold everything, first I let her hold the bag of apples but that ended up on the floor. Then I let her hold the bag of cucumbers, she opened the bag and put a cucumber up to her mouth and said "nom nom nom". I couldn't even be mad at her because it was so cute. The warm weather was a tease, today was cold again. We went to playgroup and she was good for the most part. She pushed a little girl away when she tried to take her toy but other than that, she didn't try hitting anyone. She also got a little upset when the teacher stopped blowing bubbles but she got over it pretty quick. This week flew by and now I'm excited for the weekend!