Daycare update

It was a long week for Liv, she doesn't like daycare one bit. I only left her for a few hours every day but she cried and whined the entire time I was gone. When I would pick her up, she would hug me so tight and cling to me. Yesterday, she woke up with a cold so I kept her home. I don't know if she got sick from stress or if she just caught germs from her class. Either way, she wasn't feeling great today either. I had to do a few things so my mom stayed with her and she just kept crying for me. She is usually fine with my mom so that is a bit concerning to me. I hope it's not because of daycare, she might just be fussy because she's sick otherwise this is going to be an issue. I'm really stressed out about it, so much that I'm having a hard time finding words. I just hope this week goes better, I will be working so she's going to be in class a lot longer and I'm not going to be able to calm her down. She can't cry all day.. right?! (Sigh).

This picture is deceiving.

The teacher took this before Liv knew I left.

The right thing

I think (or at least I hope) that every mother at some point in time has wondered if they were doing the right thing for their child. I've been having a hard time with a decision and I'm starting to wonder if it's the right one. I found a job at a daycare center and Olivia will be going too but she will be in a different class. This week I've been taking her for a few hours a day so she can be eased into this huge change. She has never been left with anyone besides family and usually not for more than a few hours. We left her overnight once with my mom but that was different, she was at home and comfortable in her surroundings. Yesterday I stayed with her in class and she whined from the time we got there, to the time we left. I don't really understand why she was so sad because I never left her side but she just wanted to cling to me. Today, she fell in the parking lot on the way in, she got scraped up pretty bad and that set the tone for the rest of the day. She was playing at first and I snuck out after about fifteen minutes. She was doing okay until they changed her diaper, then she started crying. She calmed down after a while but then I heard her screaming again, the teacher brought her to me and said that she just wouldn't calm down. I was hugging her and she was crying so much that she couldn't even catch her breath. That was so heart breaking for me to see. On the other hand, I really feel like this will be great for her in the long run. She will get to socialize with other kids and learn how to behave in a school setting. The problem is that she always has trouble starting a new routine, these next few weeks are going to be rough. My biggest concern is her lack of appetite. During snack time, she sat at the table with all the kids and she did so great! She really surprised me, she ate all of her food and didn't even cry when another little girl stole some. Unfortunately at lunch time, she didn't want to sit down. She had absolutely nothing to eat and wouldn't drink anything either. It really stresses me out because I'm worried about her regressing, it took me so long to get her to where she is. If she stops eating, I will feel like all the hard work was pointless and we will be back at square one. If she loses weight, her doctors are not going to be happy either. I honestly wish that I could be a stay at home mom but that's just not possible and there is nothing wrong with that. A lot of moms are in the same boat as me. I just want to fast forward to next month and not have to deal with this heart wrenching transition. I have a few irrational fears, like she is going to be mad at me for leaving her or that she is going to eventually like her teacher better than me. I love her so much and I am going to miss being with her 24/7. I know I sound like a psycho overprotective mom right now but it's so much harder than I thought it was going to be. So what is the "right thing"? There's really no answer for that, only time will tell. Parenting is all about trial and error, not every child is the same so you have to do what works for you and your family. I'm going to see how this goes but if she is really struggling, I have no problem rethinking my decision.

Cranky toddler

Olivia is still sick. Actually, she threw up (a lot) on Sunday and then again yesterday. I brought her back to the doctor because she was just being super lethargic and she had me worried. She didn't have a fever, her lungs sounded fine but she did have some fluid in her right ear. The doctor said it wasn't red so there was no infection but I am going to keep a close eye on her. Today started off great, she was in a good mood and ate a ton for breakfast. I put her down for a nap at her usual nap time and she just did not want to sleep. After over an hour, I got her out and tried to give her something to eat but she just didn't want anything. She drank a ton of water and then she layed on my lap and started to fall asleep. I put her back in her crib and she finally fell asleep. After her nap, she woke up more cranky than ever and she stayed that way for most of the night. I gave her some Tylenol and it helped a little but she just didn't want to be bothered. She refused to eat and didn't drink much either, she didn't want any milk but at least I got her to drink some water. It was a long stressful day and I'm really hoping tomorrow she will feel a little better. We have both been sick for far too long and I'm just over it.

Loving her doughnut.

Longest day ever

I seriously felt like yesterday would never end. Olivia's language development therapist was supposed to come over at 9:15 so I set my alarm for 8:15. When I woke up, I saw a text from her asking if it was icy out (it was raining and freezing all night) and I told her I wasn't sure because I hadn't left the house. I also asked her if she wanted to reschedule (I was hoping she would say yes so I could go back to sleep). She said she was still coming but running a little late so I woke up Olivia (she wasn't happy about that) and fed her breakfast. Ten minutes before she was supposed to be here, I got a text from her saying we should reschedule (ugh). It's not that big of a deal but I could have gotten a little extra sleep, that would have been nice. I had a ton of stuff to do and on top of everything else, I had to unexpectedly bring Peyton to the vet. The last few days he's been throwing up all over the place and one of the times, there was a little bit of blood in it. So gross, I know but seeing that scared me. I was practically in tears thinking about Peyton passing away. He is the only cat that lets Olivia pet him and play with him. We have had him since he was a kitten and I hate to say it but he's my favorite. He's just so sweet and loveable, I would be very sad if he was gone. So I had to bring him, lugging a twenty pound cat around in a crate is not an easy task. Luckily my mom was able to watch Olivia because there was no way I could have brought her too so that was a huge help. The vet gave Peyton an injection to stop the vomiting and also some medicine for us to give him over the next ten days. She said he didn't seem like he was in any pain and the fact that he still has an appetite is a good sign. However, if he gets any worse then we have to bring him back and they will take an x-ray of his stomach. He seems to be doing okay today, fingers crossed. After the vet, I had a ton of laundry to do. Paul and my mom helped with that so I was very thankful because I forgot to mention how much pain I was in. I had to work for over eleven hours on Sunday and my body is still recovering, I've never been so sore in my life. My entire back was hurting, so bad that it was difficult to breathe. I couldn't stand for very long either, I felt dizzy so I kept having to lay down every so often. Of course when you have a toddler, you don't get any breaks. Plus, my long to do list made it even harder. Olivia also woke up not feeling great, she had a runny nose and cough. She seems a little better today but I might bring her to the doctor tomorrow if she's still sick. Yesterday I just really wanted to sleep all day and forget about everything I had to do. I'm glad I got stuff done though because I have such a busy schedule this week/weekend. I can't remember a time when I had absolutely nothing to do. I would love just one day where I could lay in bed and not have a care in the world, obviously that's not going to happen anytime soon but it would be so amazing. Today I felt much better and by some kind of miracle, Olivia slept until 11am! That means that I got almost twelve hours of sleep which I'm sure contributed to my body feeling much less sore today. Thank goodness because I have to work tonight, I'm hoping to feel back to normal by tomorrow!

I'm jealous that Peyton gets to nap all day.

Internet down

If you're wondering why I haven't posted, it's because our internet has been down. According to our internet company (who shall remain nameless), we need a new modem. I spent over an hour on the phone with them before they came to that conclusion. Its going to take 3-5 business to get here so we won't get it until sometime during the week. It's pretty frustrating but oh well, I don't have the energy to be annoyed at this point. I let them know that I'm not paying for anything until it's fixed. At least I have internet on my phone, which is how I'm posting now but it's a pain doing it this way and I don't know how to add pictures. I'm going to just wait until the internet is back up to post again, I'm sure I'll have a lot to write about at that point.

Impromptu trip to the ER

In the midst of our busy week, Olivia decided to shake things up a bit. We were all hanging out in the living room, Paul and I were both sitting right there on the couch with Liv, she was getting down herself so I thought she was fine (she does it all the time). Somehow she lost her footing and she fell off and hit her head right on the edge of the coffee table (so hard). She was screaming and crying, I was trying to calm her down and then Paul started freaking out and saying "look at her head!" She had a huge bump, bruise and cut. After she relaxed a little bit, Paul wanted to see if she was disoriented so we watched her, she was walking a little wobbly and sideways. I called the doctor and waited for a call back, meanwhile Liv was being super cranky and clingy so when the doctor called me back she said it was a good idea to take her in. I took her to the emergency room, she was acting fine while we were there, she was having fun in the waiting room. She was playing a computer game they had (where was this when I was a kid?!), coloring, throwing the crayons everywhere and running around. They said they didn't see anything concerning and they didn't think a cat scan was necessary so we just stayed for a few hours so they could observe her. She never lost consciousness or threw up which is good because those are signs of a concussion. Just to be safe, I have to wake up every few hours to check on her and make sure she's breathing and that she doesn't throw up. Other than that, she is fine.. just a battle wound. It's been a long night.

Oh and the coffee table has been removed from our living room, those rubber corners were supposed to make it safe but of course she hit her head on the front edge.