Some serious venting

I haven't blogged in a while so I have a little catching up to do. I'll start with the bad, Thursday was seriously one of the worst days I've had in a really long time. I had an appointment about twenty minutes away and I had to bring Olivia with me. I left my house at 2pm, I didn't have to be there until 3 so I figured I would have plenty of time. About halfway there, we got stuck in a traffic jam. It wasn't just slow traffic, we were at a dead stop for a good fifteen minutes. I called and said that I would be late and they said that was fine. Another hour went by and we had barely moved. I tried taking four different detours and every single way was backed up with traffic. They called me back and told me that I would have to reschedule my appointment, I was so annoyed because I really didn't want to do that. Thursdays are my only day off so I had to reschedule a bunch of other things to fit it in, I'm so busy every Thursday for the next few months. Anyway, I turned around and started driving home and of course we hit traffic again. At this point, I started crying hysterically. I just couldn't deal with it anymore, the stress finally got to me and I just let it out. I could hear Olivia in the backseat doing her nervous laugh so I composed myself and told her that it was okay. When we got home, I went to grab her out of her seat and noticed that she threw up everywhere. This is the third time that she threw up within the span of a month. I called the doctor because I was starting to become concerned and he said that she most likely got motion sickness from the traffic. We didn't even get home till 5pm. So I basically wasted my entire afternoon driving for absolutely no reason at all. Three hours just sitting in the car, it makes me cringe even thinking about it now. Once we got home, I had to give Liv another bath (I already gave her one that morning), do her laundry and clean her car seat (not as easy task). On a good note, her therapy visit went really well. Her speech therapist said that she noticed some improvement with Olivia since she started daycare. She said that her attention span is better and that she was gesturing along more while they were singing songs. She has been doing great at daycare, she plays with the kids and even eats at the table with them. She still cries when I drop her off but most of the kids do. The teacher told me some interesting things too, she said that Olivia says a few words (that I haven't heard her say at home) while she's there, like "eat" and "ball". I wonder why she talks more at school than she does at home. I also heard that she has a little boyfriend, she kept kissing one of the boys in her class on the head. I told Paul about it and he wasn't too happy, I think it's cute though. Yesterday they had a Mother's Day brunch so I went with her and it was really sweet. The presents that she made me just melted my heart. When I had to leave, she got really upset but I knew that was going to happen. I've been sick all week, I don't know if it's just allergies kicking my butt or if I actually have a cold. Today has been spent mostly at home, we went to the store to pick up a few things and got some ice cream for dinner. For the first time ever, I ordered Olivia her own ice cream cone. She made a huge mess but she thoroughly enjoyed it. Tomorrow should be fun, we are going out to lunch with my family for Mother's Day, I just hope I feel a little better.

Totally worth the mess.

Better speech therapy visit

Olivia has been sick since last week so she's been extra irritable. It's been a long week, I'm pretty much exhausted. On a good note, I think she is starting to feel better and get over her cold. Speech therapy went a lot better today, Olivia was actually in a good mood. She was playing with the therapist and listening to her directions, I was proud of her. After speech therapy, I had a dentist appointment and it was supposed to just be a cleaning but I had a cavity (ugh) so they ended up doing a filling for me. I hate getting dental work done, my mouth was numb for the rest of the night and I do not like that feeling. Anyway, I actually got a lot accomplished today but now I want to crash, it's early for me but I am more than ready for bed!

Ditching the binky

I was pretty stressed out when I wrote my last post, I have a lot on my plate right now and that bad speech therapy visit just sent me over the edge. I'm feeling a little better now and I have a few job prospects so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm trying to wean Olivia off her binky and it's been tough. The speech therapist said that she should only be using it during naps and at bed time, she mentioned that if Liv tries to talk with it in her mouth, she will think that's the way the word is said. Olivia has been pretty cranky without it but I obviously don't want it to affect her speech, it may take a few weeks for her to get used to not having it but I know it will help her in the long run. Nap time still isn't going well, today it took her almost two hours to fall asleep. I was about to give up and get her but she finally fell asleep. I have no idea what happened to my sweet little girl but she has been a real terror this week, another reason why I've been so stressed. I am praying that it's just a phase or maybe she is rebelling because I took her binky away. I had to put her in time out twice the other day and I think it's harder for me than it is for her. She seems to understand the whole concept because when I warned her today that she would go in time out, she stopped whatever she was doing (I totally forgot what it was). Anyway, I can barely keep my eyes open right now so I'm off to bed.

First day of speech therapy

Olivia had her first day of speech therapy today and it did not go well. Sigh. She just didn't want to cooperate, she was being extra cranky. We were trying to get her to play with different toys and she didn't want any part of it. She also didn't want to repeat anything that she knows how to say, she made a few animal sounds but that was it. She basically just cried and whined the entire time, it was frustrating but there was nothing I could do to help. She may have been tired, she was just generally annoyed until the therapist left. I am not feeling my best either, I guess it's just one of those days. I wanted to give a quick update and now I am off to sulk.

Early intervention

When Olivia was in the hospital, one of the things that came up was making sure that we would have the resources needed to catch her up if necessary. She spent almost an entire month in the hospital and most of that time, she was intubated (breathing tube). The doctors let me know that it is very common for children with health issues (or being at the hospital for an extended period of time) to fall a bit behind in their milestones. I have asked several heart moms about this and almost all of them said their child had some type of delay. I want to mention that just because a child is a bit behind, does not mean they can't catch up but getting them help to do so is key. I have a few friends who had their child in Birth to 3 (completely healthy kids by the way) and they are now caught up and doing great in school! Anyone I've talked to about this always stresses the importance of early intervention. Where we live, our early intervention program is called Birth to 3. When we brought Liv home from the hospital (after her surgery stay), I set up a time for them to come to our house and do an evaluation. During that evaluation, our main concern was her eating difficulties. Olivia was also slightly behind with her fine motor skills but everything else was on track. Since she wouldn't eat, they sent a therapist to our house every other week to work on helping her to learn. They also gave me tips (different bottles/nipples, face exercises, different textures to try, etc.) on helping her but as most of you know, this didn't work out so well. Olivia sort of stumped the therapists she saw, it wasn't that she didn't know how to eat, it was just that she didn't want to. I attribute a lot of that to the feeding tube, not only was it bothering her throat but it was also keeping her full. You can read more about that in my previous post - More about the tube. Just to be clear, I think feeding tubes can be a life saver in certain circumstances. After I was able to wean her off the tube, Birth to 3 continued to come. They helped her with improving her fine motor skills, therapy is basically just play time for Liv. They bring different toys and puzzles, they watch and guide her. They teach me how I can help her when they aren't there and it's been great. She is pretty much on track with fine motor skills now but last month I brought up my concern about her speech. At 18 months, a child should be saying at least ten words (don't quote me on that because I can't remember exactly what they said) but Olivia was only saying three. She was saying "mama", "dada" and "cat". After another evaluation, the therapist said Olivia was speaking at a 13-15 month old level, so we started services for speech. I was told that it's a good idea to start practicing some sign language with Liv so that she wouldn't get frustrated if she didn't know how to say the word. Livy picked it up within a few days, she can sign for "all done" and "more". I am going to introduce a few more signs this week. I was worried that signing would make her not want to talk at all, since she could just sign what she wanted but it's actually the opposite, signing helps speech. Olivia has picked up two new words in the last few weeks, she is now saying "hi" and "baby". Aside from that, she understands everything. If I say "bring me the ball" she will, if I say "where's dada?" she will look at Paul, she knows her name, she points, she makes eye contact, she smiles, laughs and socializes. The therapist said these are all great signs and that since Olivia is making progress, she is confident that she will catch up. She surprises me every day. For example, sometime last month a commercial came on for this cat toy that Olivia got last Christmas, she saw the commercial, got off the couch and ran to the shelf to point at her cat (she knew she had the same one). I know Olivia is smart, she's just quiet. I know I'm rambling a bit but I guess my point is, don't get discouraged. You know your child best and if something seems off, it doesn't hurt to get an evaluation. Olivia's cardiologist told me that he sees a huge difference between the kids that see Birth to 3 and the kids that don't. I understand that some people don't seek help because they want to believe everything is fine but it's not a bad thing if your child is behind. I have an ongoing struggle with myself, I try not to be paranoid but I also don't want to turn a blind eye. I love Olivia and I want the best for her, helping her early on was an easy decision for me. My hope is that she will be completely caught up before she starts school. If she isn't, that's okay too, we will worry about that if/when the time comes. I will continue to encourage her and I will always be a proud mama.