Friday, April 25, 2014

All too familiar

So the other day I saw a preview for a movie that looked interesting, it's called "If I Stay". Someone had posted about the book so I decided to buy it. I always like reading the book before watching the movie, although I always end up complaining about how the movie can't compare and how much better the book is. I'll probably still go see the movie even though I know it wont be as good. Anyway, I just started reading the book a few hours ago and I'm almost done with it. I would have already been done but I can't read while Olivia is awake, she just harasses me. It's an easy read and I haven't been able to put it down. The book is about a young girl who gets into a car accident with her whole family and she is the only one who survives. She is pretty much in a coma and outside of her body, kind of in limbo watching herself as the doctors try to save her. She gets to decide if she dies or wakes up. There have been several parts where I had to stop reading for a second because it reminds me so much of when Olivia was in the hospital. Reading about Pulse ox, breathing tubes and chest tubes just takes me back. There was one part where I read out loud to Paul, it was something like "the machines were constantly beeping but it was more often due to an issue with the machine rather than the patient" those aren't the exact words but I couldn't find that part again. Reading that reminded me of the beeping at the hospital and how I could never fall asleep when I was there. At first all the beeps and alarms were so scary but once I learned what they were, I didn't freak out every time they went off. Three weeks in the hospital with Olivia and I learned a good amount of medical terminology. I payed close attention to everything the doctors and nurses said. I wanted to grasp what was really going on without them having to tell me in layman's terms. I remember the doctor smiling at me when I asked him what her blood pressure was in her lower extremities. I think if I tried reading this book a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to. It was still too fresh in my mind, it's kind of surreal now. When I think back to then, I feel like that wasn't my life. I feel like that didn't really happen, of course I know it did but the fact that it seems decades ago actually makes me happy. I obviously don't want to dwell on it but I do occasionally have flashbacks. I think I always will, that was just a huge part of my life. As surreal as it was giving birth, learning Olivia had heart defects and needed heart surgery was even more surreal. I always end up rambling when I post late at night but I'm really enjoying this book even if it is all too familiar.

On a lighter note, I absolutely loved Frozen! *SPOILER ALERT* I thought it was so good, now I know what all the hype was about. I was so mad at myself for not buying it when I saw it for $13 last week but Paul ended up ordering it for me so I'm happy. I liked most of the songs (besides Fixer Upper), my favorite was Let It Go of course. I already knew all the words to it and to Do You Want To Build A Snowman just because of Vine. I loved the scene when Elsa sang Let It Go and she was making the ice castle, it looked so real. That song is pretty empowering! Paul made fun of me when I told him how I was amazed by that scene. I was rooting for Kristoff and I was in shock when Hans didn't kiss her and told her he didn't really love her. I probably sound like such a weirdo right now but I love Disney movies. Oh and Olaf had me laugh out loud a few times, seriously awesome. I can't wait to watch it again! I still like The Little Mermaid better of course, it's just a classic to me but I think Frozen comes in second. If you love Disney movies and you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

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